Should I contact my ex-girlfriend?
There is one and only one way to deal with ex-girlfriends…
Failure to do this one thing will make you like spoiled milk for this girl and any future girls…
And remember, the goal of this advice is to protect you mentally and emotionally (and sometimes physically) and help you move forward as you search for a really great girl who can make you happy.
Even if you thought the ex-girlfriend was the woman of your dreams (she wasn’t, otherwise she would have been able to appreciate being with you), or if you dumped her because you realized you deserve someone different… I’m about to give you the tried and true answer to the question, “Should I contact my ex-girlfriend.”
Should I contact my ex-girlfriend: The short answer…
When things go south, we get out… Like a ninja.
Into the moonless night!
No more contact. Don’t answer her calls. Delete her text messages unread.
No more meeting up again after you’ve already ended it.
Just end it with a clean cut. This is, by far, the best way to handle ex-girlfriends if you have any concern for your own mental and emotional health (even hers). Guys that refuse to listen to this advice do so at their own peril.
Should I contact my ex-girlfriend: The wrong answer
I read a particularly chilling tale recently about a guy who broke up with his girlfriend (who happened to be a dentist.) The next week, he went to… The dentist. Yes. His ex-girlfriend dentist. And she put him under, then when he woke up, he found she had ripped out all of his teeth.
Seriously, your very safety, your very life, and the safety of your teeth depends on your acknowledging the very real danger of continuing to see a woman with whom you’ve broken up.
Of course, this may seem like an extreme case (craziness like this is a lot more common than you think).
But, for guys who have had normal splits with their ex-girlfriend, at the very least, they are spoiling themselves from being able to enjoy fun times with future women who come into their lives (or who don’t because they can sense that they’re still clinging on to the past) by keeping contact with the ex.
Keeping contact with an ex-girlfriend is the equivalent of telling high quality women, “I am damaged goods, emotionally immature, and am unable to let go of the past.” It’s like keeping spoiled milk in the refrigerator for months on end, hoping that somehow it will “un-spoil.”
Exercise the self-control you need to disappear from her life completely in such a way that you won’t ever have to run into her again. That means deleting all her contact info and avoiding places you know she’ll be like The Plague… At the very least.
If the breakup was particularly combative and/or the guy was still really into the girl when things went down, it probably would be best not only for his physical safety, but also for his mental safety, to move far, far away. Somewhere around 2,000 miles would be a good start.
Should I contact my ex-girlfriend: Key points…
When it’s over, it’s over. No backassing your way into a “friends with benefits” or some other BS downgraded relationship where you’re still ‘getting some’ but she’s no longer a proper girlfriend. Just like in Super Mario Bros., what we don’t complete, we must repeat. She’s going to come back at you with the same crazy annoying behavior from the first time that made you break up with her.
Secondly, go meet more women (read the book Meet More Women to find out exactly how).
To hasten the process of getting through all the nasty side effects, we’ve even compiled a list of 31 ways to go about getting over breakups in an efficient and fun manner.
Now, back to the crazy-dentist story. Not to excuse the socio-pathic, criminal behavior of the woman who mutilated and deformed another human being, but damn, that was dumb move to go the dentists’ office where his ex-GF worked. Wow. He literally walked right in to that one. He might has well have just smashed his own face into the sidewalk on his own and he could have saved her the trouble of doing it.
I found the link to that dental-breakup-horror story over at the blog Alphagameplan where commenter ‘Daniel’ said,
“He isn’t the perpetrator of his own victimhood, but he sure turned down a dark alley at midnight, expecting a rainbow.”
Remember, when the breakup goes down, best get out of town… Like Kaiser Soze. POOF! He’s gone!