Today’s Bad Dating Advice For Men
Me: And that’s how I got her number.
Dude: Cool story bro, but, you know, numbers aren’t worth anything. She might never answer her phone, or she might flake on the date. If it doesn’t go anywhere with her, then you’ll know you messed up
Why is this bad dating advice for men?
The core problem in this dude’s ‘advice’ is that he believes getting phone numbers from girls is not ‘worth anything.’ Subsequent excuses used to justify this are that she might never answer her phone, or that she might flake on the date. Let’s start by cutting down his excuses, then work back towards the core problem, and then give you some advice that can actually help you if you take it.
A girl not answering her phone or even flaking on your date are completely fine. (Remember, confident men are able to take this kind of thing in stride) When you get 100 phone numbers, we can expect that guys will get around 30-60 dates (depending on the guy). Every girl who doesn’t answer her phone is actually giving you more time to devote to meeting and dating really cool, hot women who are actually interested in seeing you again. Let’s face it, if she wants to see you, she’ll pick up the phone. You think she’s going to miss the call or flake on the date if it’s Brad Pitt?
The good news is, that for every guy out there, there are really hot women who will think of you as her Brad Pitt. That’s why we work so hard to emphasize the importance of presenting your best self at all times.
So yeah, numbers will be ‘worthless’ in the sense that, individually, they didn’t lead to a date. But really, looking at individual numbers is zooming in way too far. It’s missing the forest for the trees. An individual number may not be ‘worth’ much, but numbers are indeed worth something especially when collected every single day over the period of weeks, months and years.For any individual number, there are so many factors at play that have nothing to do with the guy, that we recommend you wait until you are meeting 30 women a day before you start jumping to conclusions about the ineffectiveness of a particular method you’re using.
We can still see that even in a relatively small sample size of 100 phone numbers, there’s going to be a ton of value in that we know that many of those girls will show up to dates (in contrast to the uncertainly of a microscopic sample size of 1). And, since we only approach women we find attractive, we know that we will have dates with women we find very attractive. We like to think big and think long term when it comes to dating advice for men here at DateMasters.
The major problem with that dating advice for men
Now, her not answering the phone or flaking were just the excuses. The real core problem with the dude in this story was that he wasn’t meeting enough women to actually take a step back and look at the bigger picture. When looking at an individual interaction, a lot of dating advice out there tends to apply huge misunderstood generalizations about what does and doesn’t work with women. If this dude had been going out every single day and talking to 30 or more women (here’s a free video from Jack D. Serrano and myself about this topic), then he wouldn’t even question the ‘worth’ of any given individual number since he knew it was simply another piece of the bigger picture. Likewise, he wouldn’t over-generalize his one bad experience with one girl who didn’t answer or flaked and apply it to ALL women. Instead, he could simply understand that it all works out in the bigger picture, smile and relax (then go talk to 30 more women whenever a number didn’t pan out and lead to a date).
So, to remedy this bad dating advice and to replace with good dating advice, we prescribe the following: Get up, get out, go talk to 30 women every day, ask for their phone numbers, follow up on those numbers, track your progress, take stats and