How To Keep Her Interested In You
Is it roses every date? Fancy dinners? Expensive vacations? Sharing your feelings? Should you be the nice guy? Or maybe you should be the jerk?
Ummm… NO! None of those, actually.
Here are 7 powerful tips on how to keep her interested in you.
Some of them are common sense tips that lots of guys fail to use. Some of these tips are counter-intuitive and very potent when you use them correctly.
How To Keep Her Interested In You Tip #1: Fun Dates
Read our article on how to plan a date with a girl. If you want to keep things exciting for her (and you!) do fun and exciting things together.
This could be as simple as going to play darts (a favorite first date of mine) or cooking together. With good girls who have made it past your initial screening process you can do more involved dates: rafting, rock climbing, snowboarding.
Learn kung-fu. Take dance classes. Give her missions to complete between dates.
Enjoy life together.
How To Keep Her Interested In You Tip #2: Give Her Space
Give her space. Always let her be the one coming to you. Stop chasing after her.
Stop being Mr. Octopus, afraid to let her go, and let her be the one touching you.
Don’t fawn over her how incredible and wonderful you think she is.
Don’t see her every day. Early on in the dating process, no more than once a week is ideal. Even if you live together, give yourselves time to do your own thing.
Don’t call her every day. Stop texting her all the time.
But what if she says she wants all these things? Of course, girls who like you will say that they want more time together. This is when it is even more important to give her (and yourself) space.
And when she wants more, more, more and you want to maintain the space needed to build a great relationship (and keep her interest in you rising and rising and rising) follow tip #3…
How To Keep Her Interested In You Tip #3: Say No
She wants a man. Not a pushover who bends over or jumps every time she snaps her fingers.
Say no. Be assertive.
A key feature in our live seminars is assertiveness training.
If you’re not willing to say no (without saying the word ‘no’) then she’s going to walk all over you. Even a good woman who wants to make you happy can end up making your life miserable if she doesn’t know where your boundaries are.
If she crosses a line that she didn’t know existed – that’s your fault. If she crosses a line that she was well aware of – that’s her fault. She’s out.
Stop being her girlfriend and start being a man who has rules and boundaries and communicate those boundaries in a straightforward, honest and respectful manner.
How To Keep Her Interested In You Tip #4: Make Her Laugh
I repeat – Make her laugh!
Stop being so serious all the time. Seriously. Stop.
If you can make her laugh, you’re well on your way to a lifetime of fun times. Most guys make the mistake of getting too serious way too fast.
How soon is too soon? Ever.
The goal is to be that couple who is still smiling, laughing and flirting together 10, 20, 40 years later. THAT is how you enjoy your life to the fullest.
And so far, we’ve found no easier and better way of keeping a woman interested in us that to keep her smiling and laughing. What’s the best part? This works even better with quality women with good attitudes.
Go read our advice on making girls laugh for more great ideas on this topic.
How To Keep Her Interested In You Tip #5: Maintain Mystery
Don’t share everything with her all at once.
Spoon-feed yourself to her. She doesn’t need your whole life story right away.
Revealing the good parts of yourself to her slowly lets you both savor and enjoy the process of getting to know each other. If she’s a great girl for you then there is no rush. She’ll find out all about you eventually without you making a show of vomiting your entire life story on the first date.
You always want her wondering about you.
You can’t do that if she thinks she knows everything about you (even if she doesn’t). We know extremely happy married couples where the man continues to play the mystery card years and decades into the relationship!
Just remember that you can always keep her wondering about you, even years down the line when she knows you better than anyone else in your life.
How To Keep Her Interested In You Tip #6: Keep Your Problems To Yourself
I don’t care how much she wants you to open up to her. I don’t care who tells you that it helps create a “connection.”
If you’ve got baggage, don’t give it to her. It’s just going to weigh her down, destroy the relationship and kill her interest in you in the long-run.
Our research and experience shows that when couples stop dumping the bad stuff in their life on their partners, it dramatically increases the overall happiness and longevity of the relationship. This includes your stress, worries, the bad parts of your past, your complaints, your fears and anything else that is generally negative.
This is different from hiding yourself from her or pretending to be something you’re not. Rather, it’s simply making a conscious choice to bring more fun, excitement and positivity into the relationship. Given the option between talking about something positive (“I found a great restaurant for us to go to!”), or something negative (“My client was a jerk today…”), stick with the positive.
If you’re with her long enough, there will probably be some difficult times that the two of you will deal with. That’s fine. But don’t push the hard times to the front of the stage. Focus on the good in life.
You want her time with you to be uplifting, enjoyable, exciting, fun, relaxing and good. Keep your problems to yourself.
How To Keep Her Interested In You Tip #7: Find The Right Girl
Find the right woman.
But wait! You wanted advice on how to keep her interested in you, not somebody telling you to find a new girl, right?
I’ll tell you straight up – sometimes, with some girls, nothing you do is going to work to build a happy, mutually fulfilling relationship.
Maybe the chemistry between you two is off. Maybe she was never that into you from the start (if you’ve been reading our blog or you’ve read Meet More Women you’ll know why this is so important). Maybe she has some serious issues and baggage that prevent will prevent her from ever having a good relationship with guys in general, and you in particular.
Whatever the issue, sometimes the best move is to find a different girl.
When you’ve got a great girl who likes you THEN you can focus on making the relationship as mutually smooth, fun and exciting as possible.
Jack D. Serrano