Do You Have A Guilt Tripping Girlfriend?
Most guys, at some time or another, will eventually come across a situation where a girl tries to guilt trip them.
Often it’s a power play or a manipulative gambit that uses and emotionally charged attitude to try to GET something from you or get you to do or say something.
Maybe that something is small (like a piece of cake), or maybe that something isn’t so small (like relationship exclusivity).
As far as we can tell, this topic has been thrown under the bus by pretty much every other source of dating advice for men out there.
So to get everyone up to speed on what exactly we mean by a guilt trip, here are a handful of examples:
Examples of Guilt Trips In Dating
Scene #1: At the restaurant
Her: (silently pouting)
Him: (finishing the last bite of a cake) What’s wrong?
Her: (teary eyed) “I wanted to eat some of that cake… *sniff*”
Him: Oh, oh, oh, sorry! I’ll order another one!
I saw my friend’s girlfriend (a grown woman at the age of 26) do this recently at a restaurant.
It blew my mind that she would actually pull out crocodile tears to get a piece of cake, and it blew my mind that he fell for it.
Scene #2: Post-coital conversation
Her: Hey, can I ask you a question.
Her: What am I to you?
Her: Well… What are we? Where’s this going?
Him: Where’s what going?
Her: You know!!!
Her: Are we a couple?
Him: Oh, yeah, I guess so.
Her: (angry) You guess so?!
Him: Oh, yes. Yeah, I mean. Geez.
Her: Hmph, good.
And with those words, the guy has sealed his fate by drifting along right into her power play by agreeing to whatever she imagines a “couple” should be like.
Maybe her idea of a couple is him being unable to as much dial his phone and turn his car keys without a complete report to her while being under constant 24 supervision (more commonly known as “being whipped”), while she gets to head out and party with her girlfriends at the club every Tuesday. Maybe not.
The point is, neither one of them communicated clearly what their idea of a “couple” was, and whether it was a mutually beneficial agreement when she rolled an “anger” power play and he caved without even considering what his conditions of satisfaction were, nevertheless asserting them properly.
Scene #3: A friendly, mixed group of guys and girls at a cafe. None of them are dating each other or even romantically involved in any way.
Him: (checking out the bodacious body on a waitress)
Girl #1: (disgusted) Tch.
Girl #2: (shaking her head) You shouldn’t do that!
Girl #3: (kicks him under the table) How crude.
Ah, the age old meme of the poor guy who looks at some boobs and then women who aren’t even his girlfriend come out of nowhere to whack him over the head.
Um, what the heck for? Having a male sex drive?
Ultimately it comes down to “He should feel ashamed for looking at her T&A!”
It’s all guilt tripping and we’re having none of it.
How To Deal With Guilt Tripping In Dating Situations
While guilt trips may come from men and women of all backgrounds, sizes and ages (children included: “Waaaah! You didn’t buy me that toy! I hate you, Mom!”), the situation we’re most concerned about here is if the women you’re dating start rolling out these maneuvers to manipulate your behavior.
How To Handle A Guilt Tripping Girlfriend Tip #1
First way, note her guilt tripping as the red flag it is, drop her and go meet more women. Harsh, yes. And it does depend on her track record and the level of severity with the guilt trip, but really, you don’t have to time to deal with this crap. There’s a hot woman somewhere, waiting to meet YOU, and she doesn’t have the core characteristics and attitude that lead to cheap guilt trips and power plays. Once you’ve Identified a girl who relies on manipulative tricks like this, kick her to the curb go search for her her replacement. Simple, clean and effective.
How To Handle A Guilt Tripping Girlfriend Tip #2
When she comes at you with a guilt trip, the attitude that serves you best is “Hey, it’s play time!!!” Look at the opportunity in the light of how ridiculous of a response you can have, and how much can you make her laugh in response to her guilt trips. Eventually several things might happen:
- She laughs and joins in on the fun and games, leaving the BS behind
- She continues with the bad behavior until either you or she walks away in frustration
How To Handle A Guilt Tripping Girlfriend Tip #3
Pick up a copy of “When I Say No I Feel Guilty,” by Manuel J. Smith, one of the most useful books on recognizing and dealing with manipulation. Follow along with the assertion exercises closely. Practice the techniques described in the book (particularly fogging) whenever she comes at you with a guilt trip.
Learn to recognize when your dates come at you with guilt trips and implement the strategies above. If you don’t, then you’re not a real man, and you should be! (Spot that guilt trip just now?)