How To Approach A Girl You Don’t Know

How To Approach A Girl You Don’t Know
How to approach a girl you dont know

Who is she? There’s only one way to find out…

How to Approach a Girl You Don’t Know

So, you found this page because you’re interested in learning how to approach a girl you don’t even know. Well you’re in luck because I just *happen* to go out every single day and approach 30 hot women so I might be able to give you a couple tips in the short amount of time that it takes to read this.

First I’ll tell you exactly what to do and then I’ll give you some crucial advice on how to approach a girl you like (so you can get to know her and find out if you really do like her).

How to Approach a Girl You Don’t Know: Step-by-Step Advice

Step 1: Find a girl you are attracted to. You can approach a girl anywhere. This could be at school, on the street, at the gym (it’s always fun to approach a hot girl at the gym), at a bar, in a club, at work, in public, or even when she is with her friends and with a group of girls.

Step 2: Physically move to go talk to her. No matter what. Don’t worry about trying to approach a hot girl from the right angle, or any other tiny details like that. So long as you approach a beautiful girl you find attractive then you are doing more than most guys ever will. If you two have chemistry then all those little worrisome details won’t matter a single bit. I know this from the experience of approaching 30 beautiful women every single day.

Step 3: Say, “Hi. What’s your name?” I’ll explain why this is all you need in a minute.

Step 4: Have a fun conversation (try making her laugh)

Step 5: Ask for her phone number.

Step 6: Whether it goes anywhere with this girl or not, give yourself a pat on the back. You have just increased your confidence level. Approach enough women in this way and it won’t be long before you find a woman who you really hit it off with.


How to Approach a Girl in a Club, at a Bar, in Public, on the Street, at School or Anywhere Else!

‘Hi’ Is Enough! This is going to be obvious but… SAY ‘HI’!

That’s it guys. See a pretty girl and say hi.

Anyone who tells you that you can’t just say hi obviously is not talking about reality. (Hi exists for a reason!)

A simple, “Hi, how are you?” is plenty to get the ball rolling. If she likes your look and you are a relaxed, fun guy then things will take off naturally. (If you still have trouble with conversation then I suggest you practice making small talk with EVERYONE you meet).

Guys, know this – you don’t need to get more fancy than ‘hi’, ‘hello’, or a similar greeting. This is what we get results with and we get results that other guys wish they had (it all starts with taking action on improving yourself).

Learning how to approach a girl you don’t know ain’t rocket surgery. ‘Hi’ is more than enough to get a conversation started in order to find out if you share chemistry with the girl. If it isn’t enough then you’re mistake lies elsewhere. Go seek out someone with more experience to help you (and then use what they say to test it out in your own experience).

How to Approach a Girl You Like with Ease

“But isn’t approaching beautiful girls haaaard?”

No. It’s not. And especially not once you do it once, a few, or a few thousand times.

Let me ask you – Is it hard to joke around with someone you get along with? Is it hard to talk with a friend who you have a connection with? Is it hard when you meet someone who you can relax around? These are things you are looking for right away when you meet women (we go into this much more in depth in our book Meet More Women).

It might take time to learn and it will certainly take deliberate, concentrated effort on your part but if you are willing to take action on improving your self and your life then you WILL get better and get closer to your goals.

If it’s hard then you’re doing it wrong and you obviously haven’t studied our book, Meet More Women, closely enough yet.

Here’s What You Need to Really Learn the Best Way to Approach a Girl

Want to get better at ANYTHING in life?

The best way I know of getting better at anything really fast is to find people who are getting the results you want and then mining them for information. Ask them questions. Find out how they tick, how they think, and what they do to get the results they get.

The same is true for approaching a girl you don’t know. Find guys who are doing it and getting the results you want and learn from them. It could be a random guy on the street or in the bar. It could be your buddy. Or you could get help from professionals who make their living by getting guys results.

But no matter where you seek a mentor, whether it’s free or paid, you need a mentor/mentors if you really want to succeed and get the lifestyle and the women you want. Using the experiences of others as a guide to your own learning is the smartest, most efficient thing you can do on your own path to mastery.

What Should You Do Right Now to Approach an Attractive Girl You Like?

Take Action.

This is the most important issue.

If you don’t actually go out and approach a beautiful girl, then you won’t meet her. Period.

Let’s finish this article by recapping where this advice has been tested, massively. You can use this list to go approach a beautiful woman right now.

  • At school
  • On the street
  • At a train station
  • At the gym
  • At a bar
  • In a club
  • At work
  • In public
  • When she is with her friends
  • When she is with a group of girls
  • On a train
  • On a bus

So get out there and go approach a girl you like.

You’ve just learned a ton of useful, great advice. It’s up to you to actually use it and take action on improving your dating life!

Do you have a question about how to approach a girl at a specific location? Leave a comment and I’ll answer based on my experiences.

Be Amazing.
Jack D. Serrano


  1. Ok, so thur is this cute girl that walks every morning by herself in front of my work place to go to her job, which is the next block. She looks shy/serious I don’t think she’s stuck up but who knows, i want to approach her but just don’t know how? the other morning she walked by in front of workplace as usual only this time she was playing with her hair and turn her head sideways to see if I guess we were looking and then quickly turned away and today she as she was passing by the turned our way to see if we were at our usual spot at work lol my co-worker keeps on telling to go up to her bit I just don’t know how . Any suggestions? I’m not really good at theese things lol

  2. Hi Jack,

    I’m 15 years old ,and there is this beautiful girl I see everyday at school . She is 1 year older than me and I have caught her looking at me manyyy times from a month ago ! For example: whenever she passes near me with her friends,she looks at me and smiles in a lovely way.And one time when I was on my way to the cafeteria ,I saw her from outside and she saw me then she turned to her friend next to her and told her something,after that when I entered she and her friend twisted back at me and smiled ! I was surprised and didn’t know what to do ( btw I was with my friends). Also it happened that we passed each other and she was just looking at me in that lovely cute way, and me i haven’t done anything! And after 2 weeks maybe I started seeing her depressed and sad for some reason which I think it’s me cz whenever I look at her she just turns her face.i have tried to add her on facebook but she didn’t accept my friend request ,so i sent her a message” hey ! Can I get to know u :) “so she saw the message but didn’t reply ,then I sent her another message” if I didn’t get any reply from u ill consider that u don’t want us to get to know each other and sorry if I pushed it xx” ,she saw it and didn’t that time I thought I had no chance but before a week ago I was standing in the football field and she was about 30 meters away from me ,she looked at me as we’ll as I did and we stared for a long time and that happend twice at that day. Also I see her friends looking at me sometimes to see if I’m looking at her or so.furthermore , yesterday at morning when I came to school I was talking with my friends and I suddenly saw her looking at me in the same way she used to look at me before! And when she was entering the school building she turned twice and looked at me ,as well as for today I when I first met my friends in the morning at school I caught her looking at me and starring from a long distance so I looked too.
    and at the break I was sitting on the bench and she passed by with her friend and her friend looked at me and saw me looking at them then she told the girl I like something then the girl I like pretended she is looking at the boys who were playing and twisted back to look at me!and even more … She was looking backward at me when she was entering the school! And I guess now I don’t know what to do because I reallyyyy like her and I had feelings towards her quite a long time! And Im so wanting to be in a relationship with her . So can u help me and tell me what to do please ? Sorry if I made u bored in this long story:$ . I hope u can help :)

    • Hey man, the best thing you can do is approach her in real life. Facebook didnt work and shes always looking at you so she is clearly interested in you. She cant really get to know you over facebook but in person she can decide if she wants to know more about you, ok mate? So yeah, talk to her in person bud.

      • Yeah I guess I will bro .thx a lot . But I was wondering … Do u think I should tell her that I like her when I talk to her for the first time ? Becz I think she would know that it’s the reason for me to talk to her.

  3. When you are approaching a group of girls and you are alone and after you have started up a conversation with them, where do you go after having their guard down? Do I ask for everyone’s phone number or just one particular female? lol

  4. i am not able to find a girl all are good but iam not……. all seems to be enjoyable but not loveable

    • Hey Bobby, sorry to hear that. You might want to do some work on your self esteem and see if that helps you out. Check out our post about it here and definitely follow up with the recommended readings. Good luck,


  5. I got to alt high school. My school time starts when regular school time ends. When I’m in my literature class theres a girl thats not in night school. She stays after to help the teacher. I’m not allowed to move around or talk. I don’t thinks she really notices menbecouse she’s working. She held the teacher with her freind. I was thinking of asking her friend if she has a bf. That way I wil find out, and she will end up telling her tha I asked. Is this a good idea?

    • Sorry or the misspelling

  6. It loks like fewer and fewer men are approaching women these days, possibly because they are tired of the double-standards. If women were to approach men, they could meet the man of their dreams!

    • While it would be nice if women approached us, that’s simply not the way the world works (occasionally they approach, but usually we gotta take the first steps). Wishful thinking about how the world should be has never taken me very far. I prefer to look at my own situation realistically and then determine how I can best move forward in order to reach my goals in life. Everything else is just making excuses.

      There are millions of different reasons/excuses for why many guys don’t approach girls. For some guys, their chosen excuse might be that they are tired of what they perceive as double standards.

      The simple fact remains that guys will get better results with women if they start approaching more (hence our book’s title, Meet More Women).

      And, the reverse of your statement is true too:
      “If men were to approach women, they could meet the women of their dreams.”

      Be Amazing.
      Jack D. Serrano

  7. Hi John Robie
    In my case,I’m a shy guy and whenever I’m with girls I see much beautiful, I can’t express myself. But when I’m with girls I think they are not of that class, I feel comfortable to express myself. Please can you help me to talk to girls I see much beautiful?

  8. I see this girl in my highschool in my last class. Ive been making good eye contact and shes checked me out alot since yesterday. ive even thrown a lame joke to a freind that sits between us and i got a nice smile from her. I just have a hard time approaching her. I dont know much about her either Ive never been a good conversation starter. I need to work on a universal lists of topics that i can use to chat her up and get to know her.

    On a side note – last semester i took a lifegaurding course and she was in there but never swam cause injury and i believe i cought her staring a few times. Any advice is welcome

    • Hey Tyler,

      Thanks for the comment.

      I see this girl in my highschool in my last class.

      Wait until class is over and talk to her as you’re both leaving. Say, “Hey (her name). Tell me your phone number.” She’ll either give it to you, or not. If she does, great. If not, then you can move and find some other pretty girls to ask their numbers. If she asks why you want her number, say, “So I can call you and ask you on a date.”

      With her number, you can then… Wait for it… Call her up, and ask her on a date.

      I need to work on a universal lists of topics that i can use to chat her up and get to know her.

      You’re getting ahead of yourself. You don’t even know if she’s interested in getting to know you. If she gives you her number and accepts your date invitation, go to a coffee shop for your first date and get to know her there. As for conversation topics… Let her be the one bringing up topics of conversation. Girls want to talk about themselves. So listen, and ask follow up questions.

      Hope that helps. Let me know how it goes. Thanks again for the comment,


  9. Greetings gentlemen,
    First I’d like to thank Jack for his advice, thanks. I have a question about perception.

    The mall is my favorite place to try to approach girls. I go alone, my problem is that I get the perception that I don’t belong there. That I’m out of line and that I shouldn’t be out there trying to pick a girl up and try to have sex with her. Like old women judge me as a pervert, couples know what I’m up to and don’t want me there, other men know what I’m up to and want to beat me up. Basically my question is how do you put perception on your side? Both mentally, what do you tell yourself and also socially what are the patterns that you follow to “fit”, to make you feel like you belong there ?

    I just feel like I’m wack, that it’s not normal that I be there alone. I try to go when I have an errand to run and then I linger some, but there are just so few errand to run every week… I’d like to be there like 5 times a day, but then wouldn’t people start to notice me (people that work there) and then if I don’t befriend them wouldn’t it look weird, they’d start to talk to each other : “the wacko/weirdo is back, what’s he doing?”. So how can I develop a system where it looks normal that I hang out there? I tried to get my crew to hang out there but they won’t go.

    What do you think?

    • Hey Waka,

      Thank you for the comment and questions. Three things come to mind –

      1) Diversify – find other places to meet women besides that one mall. Rather than having to rely on it 5 days a week, you could go once a week while rotating between 5 other locations.

      2) Stop trying to ‘pick a girl up to have sex with her.’ Instead, greet women with the intention of finding out how into you she is right from the get-go. You can learn a lot just from her responses to “Hi, what’s your name?” and a handshake.

      3) Realize that most people are too stuck in their own heads to pay attention to you (or anyone else). Watch what people are doing – playing with their cell phones, jamming to the tunes in their headphones, or simply walking around in a daze. Nobody notices you talking to girls, and even if they did, they still wouldn’t care.

      Give these strategies a try. If you have any more questions, let me know.


  10. hi John Robie
    how can i approach a girl who is in a motion?

    • Hello Beamer Bima,

      First, match her speed and walk up beside her. Then, turn to her and say, “Excuse me.” If she stops to listen to you, say, “Hi, what’s your name?” If she doesn’t hear you, say “excuse me” up to three times. If she doesn’t hear you by then, you either need to be projecting your voice more, or she’s ignoring you – in which case you can simply let her go and find another girl to talk to. Thanks for the comment, and hope that helps.


  11. Wow! What a presentation! I am still amazed that somebody out there ( women and the many highly skilled pickup atist instructors) really NEEDS to have men being the ones to be the pursuers and “approachers”, as opposed to the women.
    The numbers seem to show that fewer and fewer men are approaching, probably because they are fed up with the double standards. Maybe if more women are approaching, it is better for men, giiving them some higher value. maybe? I hope that this is true.

    • Hi Dave,

      In my ideal world, women would do all the approaching. I don’t “NEED to have men being the ones to be the pursuers and “approachers”, as opposed to the women.” However, I do live in the real world, which is slightly different from my ideal one. We as guys simply have more opportunities by approaching women. For those of us who are already completely satisfied with their dating and sex lives, sitting back and waiting for women to approach works fine – I love it when girls step to me. Things always seem to go especially smooth in those situations. The only problem is that it happens at a much much much much slower rate than taking action and creating opportunities for oneself by being the approaching man.

      By the way, what’s your source for “The numbers seem to show that fewer and fewer men are approaching, probably because they are fed up with the double standards”? What numbers in particular show this? And what about those numbers caused you to speculate that it’s due to double standards?

      Thanks for the comment.


      • Mr. Robie – By “numbers”, I meant the hundreds of google sites which have women lamenting that men do not approach them enough. Along with that, I suggested that the reason for this is that men are not afraid, just tired of the cultural rule which requires them to do the approaaching.
        It is your belief that this is not true?

        • Dave,

          Your comments are much appreciated.

          I’ll repeat what I said in reply to your comment above:

          Everything else is just making excuses.

          There are millions of different reasons/excuses for why many guys don’t approach girls. For some guys, their chosen excuse might be that they are tired of what they perceive as double standards.

          I think that speculating about whether or not a cultural rule is causing apathy in guys just doesn’t get us any closer to finding a solution that makes guys lives better and their relationships easier and more fulfilling.

          The question is: HOW does this help me get better with women?

          So what if this cultural rule exists and causes SOME guys not to approach? There are plenty of guys who know who to get incredible results with really great women anyways.

          Until the day comes when I try to start changing the cultural rules of society, I’ll focus on myself and what I can do to get the life I want. I’ll let everybody else worry about their excuses for not making their life better.

          Being tired of a cultural rule that is speculated to exist is just mental masturbation that misses the entire point.

          The simple fact remains that guys will get better results with women if they start approaching more.

          Be Amazing.
          Jack D. Serrano

  12. How do you approach a girl who is working like behind a desk answering phones

    • “Hi. What’s your name?”

      Not sure the exact situation you mean so I’ll go through a couple:

      – You’re a visitor in an office and you see a cute girl working at the front reception: Wait till she gets off the phone, then say”Hi. What’s your name?” Be aware of your surroundings. You might need to be more discrete depending on how visible she is to her boss or co-workers.

      – You work with her in an office and she is a co-worker: Say hi at work and be polite. Stop there. I recommend you avoid pursuing her. There are too many women out there to risk your financial livelihood going for a girl you work with.

      Be Amazing.
      Jack D. Serrano

  13. hi dude. can you teach me how to be able to make the girl i’m conversing with, laugh? i’m just not that smooth when it comes to conversing with women, especially strangers. am very awkward or serious or find myself ‘trying hard’ to be funny. i know that being funny and being able to make the girl laugh is the key, but i just need that knowledge on how to. btw, am impressed with your blog here and do trust you with whatever you’re gonna have to say.

    • Thanks for the kind words, Robert.

      Here’s an important point: When a girl likes you, she will tend to laugh, even if you’re not particularly funny, according to your standards of funny.

      While you don’t need to be particularly “smooth” you will need to get more experience talking to women. Start meeting as many women as possible and practice holding a fun conversation. Ask her questions. If you see an opportunity to make her laugh (we don’t care about jokes, all we care about is making her laugh) test it out. Humor is a skill for you to develop. And that will come with experience.

      Find out if there are any improv classes/groups in your area.
      Join a Toastmasters speaking group.

      You make a good point about not wanting to be too “try hard” with making her laugh. The key is finding out how to make girls laugh using your own personality. Again, get more and more experience with women and talking to people, in general.

      All that said, it is much easier to make a girl laugh when she is initially into you than trying to make a girl laugh who is semi-ignoring you.

      Get lots more experience.
      Post back here if you need more ideas.

      Be Amazing.
      Jack D. Serrano

  14. hi I see a girl everyday going on her bike.she always smiles at me looking.but she never stops her bike to talk to me.she is particularly a stranger to me.but i think that i am in to purpose her and ask her mobile number.she is a indian punjabi girl.may be she is afraid of people in market.i just Love her and cannot express it.

  15. Well i got the same issue but the problem is that im afraid of approaching to a group of girls, maybe her friends will throw jokes or she’ll reject

    • Hey Hadi,

      im afraid of approaching to a group of girls

      Unless I see a really really really super hot girl in a group, I don’t even bother. I live in a major metropolitan area where I can easily find literally thousands of women walking around alone throughout the day. Approaching groups of women isn’t really a big deal.

      maybe her friends will throw jokes or she’ll reject

      You’ve got quite an imagination there!

      Maybe she’ll turn to you, pupils dilating, smile and say, “Hi!!!”
      Maybe she’ll pull a bag of candy of he pocket and just randomly give you some
      Maybe she’ll stare at you, wide eyed, unable to speak because of how handsome you are
      Maybe she’ll ignore you until the third time you greet her, and will then say, “Oh sorry! You’re talking to me?”
      Maybe she’ll burst into a song and dance sequence from a Disney movie

      These are all things that have happened to me or guys I know (well, maybe not the singing / dancing one). What I’m saying is there’s absolutely no way to know what she (or her friends) will do until you go up to her and say “Hello. What’s your name?” You can IMAGINE as many scenarios (good, bad or ridiculous) as you’d like, but ultimately you’ll never know until you man up and approach. Good luck and Be Amazing,

  16. Hi Jack, so there is this cute girl that works at the gym I go to. I play basketball there most of the time and she is in there a lot working with little kids and stuff, she looks like she is around my age (18). We always make eye contact and I see her looking at me a lot in my peripheral vision, and I’ve only talked to her once to ask her how late the gym is open, I don’t even know her name. Whenever I see her I want to go up and talk to her but I’m afraid it will be awkward because I haven’t really talked to her yet and I see her their so much. Could you just tell me what I should do and say, given the situation.


    • Hey Mike,

      Given the situation with this girl, here’s something you could do / say. Next time you see her in the gym, walk up to her whether or not you’ve made eye contact. Say, “Hello,” and smile. Wait for her to respond with a greeting back. Then…

      You: How ya doin’?
      Her: Good / Ok / Whatever
      You: Cool. What’s your name?
      Her: It’s ____.
      You: Nice to meet you. (Shake her hand)
      Her: Nice to meet you, too!

      From this point ask some friendly getting-to-know-you questions like, “How long have you been coming to this gym?” or”What sports do you play / like?” With the conversation that results, do your best to make her laugh. Converse with her for about 3 minutes, then during a lull in the conversation, say:

      You: Hey, (her name), tell me your phone number.

      Whether she tells you her number or not doesn’t matter – you can’t control her actions. What matters is that you manned up and took the shot.

      After that, come back here and update us on what happened. Good luck and Be Amazing,

      • same situation but what if it’s at school during a passing period and you have no classes with her AT ALL

        • Hey Christ,

          For talking to random girls you don’t know who are on the move (ie, a school hallway, sidewalks in busy towns, etc) you have to get her attention. That means, ultimately, manning up, walking up to her (whether or not she’s seen you / made eye contact) and greeting her. “Hi,” “Hey,” and “Hello,” with a smile works fine. The rest of the advice from this article and my above comment to commenter Mike still stands. Ask her name, shake her hand, make her laugh, tell her to give you her number (if she asks why, tell her “So I call you and ask you on a date”).

          Once again, you can’t control her actions. She may or may not talk to you. She may or may not laugh at what you have to say. She may or may not give you her number… But you can be damn well sure that your balls are massively huger than the vast majority (all?) of the other dudes at your school when you step to her, accomplishing something they could only dream about. Good luck and Be Amazing,

      • But the thing is JR, I’ve made it awkward for myself now because me and her look at each other pretty frequently, and me being my shy self, I haven’t said anything to her. And now I feel like I can’t just go up to her and have a normal approach like I would a girl I just saw. I feel that I need to come up with a different approach other than “hi how are you”. Because I have made it a little awkward for myself by just looking at her every now and again and not saying hi. Can you give me any other kinds of approaches for my specific situation.

        • Mike,

          Jack here. JR’s advice still stands.

          I understand that you feel like you have made things awkward.

          One thing I’ve found by approaching thousands of women is that your approach does NOT need to be all that smooth, fancy, or include any tricks. All that awkwardness has nothing to do with your ability to physically go and say hi to her. My “feelings” ultimately make no difference to her.

          I’ve felt awkward and had girls completely ignore or dismiss me.
          I’ve felt cool and smooth and had girls totally into me from the start.
          I’ve felt cool and smooth and had girls completely ignore me or dismiss me.
          I’ve felt awkward and had girls totally into me from the start.

          Ultimately, you MUST go start a conversation with this girl if you ever want anything to happen. You gotta meet her before you do anything else.

          And there is no approach you can do that works all the time. So we work with what gives us the best chance.

          In this specific situation, the words “Hi, how are you?” are the opening words that we believe give you your best chance at engaging her in a fun conversation that leads towards sex, dating or a relationship (take your pick). Especially this situation and especially given the background information you’ve given us.

          And whether she says hi back, or decides not to engage you in conversation, neither will have much to do with the awkwardness that you felt. It will have to do with whether she is naturally attracted to you, your type, and (after talking to her) your personality.

          I understand that there might be a lot of awkward feelings, or feeling like you can’t because of [insert excuse] but fortunately, none of those can physically prevent you from actually doing it.

          Looking positively towards the future – It reads like this girl has been consistently making eye contact with you. That is a good sign! There is a good chance that she has been secretly hoping you finally come say something (anything) to her. If this has been the case then almost ANY opening words will work perfectly.

          Go out and say “hi, how are you?” followed by a light, playful conversation where you ask for her phone number (in order to invite her out for coffee). If you’ve read Meet More Women then you’ll recognize those Milestones.

          Report back to us on what happened when you test this approach (or feel free to test something else). The most important thing is that you DO IT. Imagine if this woman turns out to be the woman of your dreams. You can’t know until you approach her and say SOMETHING.

          Be Amazing.
          Jack D. Serrano

          • Hi jack, or JR. So I did approach that girl by saying hi and had a small conversation with her and it worked out great. My confidence level is sky high right now, and I really want to go out and just approach any cute girl that I get the opportunity to talk to. I’ve been doing a lot of reading about the right way to approach girls, and I really want to learn how approach girls directly, and not indirectly.

            I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice on how girls like to be approached and the things they like to hear when guys approach them directly.
            For example, I was at the gym the other night sitting down stretching on the mats, and this cute girl came over and sat right next to me, neither of us were wearing headphones so it would have been easy to talk to her. Would a girl find it flattering if a guy she thought was attractive told her “hey, so I noticed you and I just thought that you were really cute, and I wanted to meet you, my name’s mike, what’s your name?” And then from there, I can just have a small conversation with her.

            What do you guys think about that approach? Have you ever tried that with a girl, I’m kind of worried that a girl would find that a guy calling her cute right off the bat like that would be TOO direct.

            If you don’t think I should approach girls that way, what way do you recommend so that I can still be direct with her?



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